Well, it's about to be football season once again. Starting tomorrow girlfriends, wives, and significant others everywhere are going to be neglected by the NFL fan in their lives. Countless guys that I've talked to have already expressed their concern over being left alone to watch the game in peace. Many dudes are in fear that their lady is going to barge in at the most critical part of the game and disrupt his gridiron utopia. But that's why Digital Jeezus is here to give you just a couple of simple rules to let everyone enjoy their Sundays. And Monday nights. And occasionally Thursday evening.
Rule 1- Don't talk...ever.
Please don't interrupt him with what you are sure is a riveting conversation, because I can guarantee he doesn't care. About whatever you are talking about. A lot of times wives and girlfriends find themselves jealous of a lot of things that take a guy's attention away from them. But he's a good guy. Let him have this brief season to enjoy the game in peace. We can go back to the world revolving around you on Tuesday morning.
Rule 2- For God's sake, don't try to watch it with me.
I got to tell you that there is nothing more annoying than when your girl plops down on the couch with you and attempts to watch the game with you. (Some women are actually football fans, so this doesn't apply to them. Just the ones who have never seen a game a day in their lives. ) Don't sit down because you read some article in Maxim about taking an interest in the things he likes, and you chose football. It gets really annoying when your team is in a tight game and your girl is asking questions like "So what is holding?" or "Why do they call it first down?" Trust me, he's not going to appreciate you taking an interest. He's going to be annoyed that you're interrupting his game time. Which brings me to rule number 3.
Rule 3- Find something to do with yourself!
Instead of trying to insinuate yourself into his football time or getting jealous of the game, find a better way to use your time. Here's an idea. Ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret. We hate the stuff you watch on tv. The reality shows and romantic comedies you make us watch...suck. So instead of being mad that you can't spend time with us during the game, go watch one of those shows that you swear to us is so good but in reality we would rather stab ourselves in the eyeball with a rusty spoon than watch. Trust me. The odds of a guy cutting the game off and catching an attitude cause you watched Real Housewives of Englewood without him is slim to none.
Rule 4- Go fix me a sandwich, sit down and shut up!
That sounded kind of sexist and chauvinistic. Let me clean that up a little bit. What better way to let a man know that he's appreciated than by letting him quietly enjoy his game, while you fix him a delicious snack, and follow it up by having a seat in the far corner of the room, making the least amount of noise possible.
So there you have it. By following these simple rules, everyone should have a great Sunday. Go Bears.
*One quick note of self preservation. The preceding comments are in no way indicative of the experience of watching the game with my girlfriend. She is the pinnacle of class and femininity and her mere presence enhances the experience of any sporting event. These are just jokes.
Sounds like you summed up how a lot of people feel. Yes go Bears because we need more championships in our city. Also nice save at the end lol.
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